The Finite

1. Thou shalt not use dark backgrounds
2. Thou shalt use dark non-Comic Sans fonts.
3. Thou shalt not use large font on text-only slides yet include diagrams and pictures with tiny text and captions.
4. Thou shalt not force us to print three slides to a page with space for notes (which we don’t even use because we take notes on the picture of the slide anyway.)
5. Thou shalt not give us a 2-slide-per-page PDF that forces us to print out notes with lots of white space.
6. Thou shalt upload notes a week prior to lecture.
7. Thou shalt give lecture objectives before the lecture commences.
8. When one sends to notes to the copy maker, thou shalt be sure that they do not omit pages nor misplace large tracts of pages.
9. Thou shalt not include redundant slides in the printed handouts that are in your presentation “just to make a point”.
10. Thou shalt not include graphics that depend on color for readability.

Okay, so that house I was going to live in didn’t really pan out because the guy renting the house out dumped us. And then my plan to feed coffee grounds to squirrels and see what happens hasn’t really turned up any success. (Have you ever seen a squirrel vomit? It’s the cutest vomiting you’ll ever see!) Things just haven’t been going my way lately.

Okay, I haven’t made a squirrel drink coffee. They don’t touch the stuff. I think I need to mix it with more toffee almond syrup. But that guy did decide to sell the house rather than rent to us. So I’m staying in the same apartment with Dylan and a newly cast character. I don’t know how he will fit in. But that means same security deposit, same location and notably, same squirrels. I’ll hook them yet.

In protest of SOPA and PIPA and the whole general idea of acronyms, I will not be telling you any of what I did today. Also because nothing happened except for me picking a new dwelling for next year. It’s this house about a mile from campus. The current guy’s dad owns it so they seem really laid back and we just need to convince them that we’re not going to trash the place. Really roomy, a mud room, and a backyard for to get drunk in. Of course this was before work, but you guys probably don’t want to hear about work any more. And I-

Aw, dammit.