Archive for the ‘Really Nerdy’ Category

Never again

Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

Working cashier tonight. A girl’s order came to $13.35. In my deluded state of joviality, I quipped, “Two cents more there would have been cause to celebrate.”

“What? Why?”

Thus followed a two minute long explanation on the relevance of the number 1337 that fell on confused but probably completely apathetic ears that had me regretting ever saying anything. It was horrible. I was hoping for an armed gunman to end the conversation.

Tommy: It’s a really nerdy joke from the internet.
Girl: *confused stare*
Tommy: Just ask any nerd …or computer science major. There’s probably one in here.
Girl: *confused stare*
Tommy: See, it’s this language where every letter is replace with a number. 1 for L, 3 for E, and 7 for T. 1-3-3-7? L-E-E-T? It’s just a really nerdy- I’m a big nerd, okay?! I got a tattoo of pi! I-
Girl: *confused stare*
Tommy: Would you like a drink with that?

My Irrational Tattoo

Saturday, March 14th, 2009

Earlier in the semester, I woke up one morning and went to the dining hall to find Chris and Dylan already eating.

The three of us walked down to the incessantly-legitimate business establishment where my soon-to-be tattooer was chillin’ on a sofa watching TNT.

It took ten minutes to do, and thankfully, there was much cleaning and unwrapping of instruments beforehand. Assembling the multipart needle apparatus was like putting together a rifle or SLR. Then there was all the cleaning with what smelled like phenolics. The actual process hurt like an intramuscular injection given to me by a power sander. But it wasn’t unbearable. It became easier after a while.

A short while later, we were making our way back to Harrison, hopping fences and disrupting the established order in somewhat of a thuggish manner in accordance with my new status as “badass” although I continue to question the aptness of my new designation.

Everyone at the Grille wanted to see it. And the people on my floor when my RA noticed it in our particularly echoey hallway. And then the engineering majors (which is everybody) found out and I had to roll up the sleeve for them, too.

pi tattoo

The design is mostly original. I pulled a free copy off of the internet and photoshopped the hell out of it. The upper bar is actually originally a tilde that I grew to enormous size and tamed and whittled. The legs are flipped around and slimmed variants of the originals.

I’ll spare you the details of the aftercare which lasted a week at a half and involved much more lotion than I care to remember. Although I will have to say that I bled blue without even being a Cubs fan.

I am not so eager to tell my family about this. It’s not the programmer aunts and engineers uncles that are the problem so much as my immigrant grandmother whose math skills are rudimentary at best and whose world views are essentially reactionary and… “distrustful”.

She’ll think I joined a gang.

When I try to explain to her the concept of using pi as a universal constant for Euclidean calculation, she’ll inevitably fill in the words she doesn’t recognize with such panic-inducing terms as “firearms” and “rollin’” and an image of a young urban thug named “Euclid”.

But so it remains. An irrational and constant reminder of a constant and irrational decision.

Escape from Leper Island

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

My old Motorola V195 has served me well. But as the times change, so too must the carriers and network allegiance. My V195 will always have a place in my Drawer of Retired Electronics. Its marathon battery (21 days according to the manufacturer, more like 15 IRL) and compact internal antenna. What was perhaps most important though, were the ubiquitous mini-B data port and the 2.5mm headset jack, the functionalities of which I will explain later.

Before you start searching facebook for my “Got a new phone, give me your numbers!!!< <<<3!!1!!" group, don't. (And don't even let the neurons that would allow such a thought to propagate even continue to survive. I believe the web is already cluttered with enough junk and fluff.) Remember first that I'm not a normal person who is content on tediously entering in many contacts again, a process which, as enticing as it sounds, I've bypassed by simply transferring all my contacts to my new phone via SIM card using the unlocked V195.

phone

The Nokia 6650 is a svelte and thinner counterpoint to my bulky yet functional V195. But my V195 had that Volkswagon beetle-esque bulbousness and charm that earned a special place in my heart as well as prevented it slipping out of my pocket. I can’t say the same for the Nokia that has already fallen out of my pocket during lecture in Lily thanks to a polished aluminum battery panel.

I chose this over the LG Shine partly because I don’t trust slider phones. In the harsh environment of my pocket, a screen could get scratched by keys or pens. I also don’t trust a slider mechanism. They seem too delicate, depending on what feels like nothing more than the tensile strength of a small spring. The flip phone has been refined by man since the beginning of (POSIX) time. Besides, it won’t ever engage while in my pocket.

Unfortunately, the 6650 is so modern and sleek that it includes a microUSB data connector, thus requiring me to get a new cable. With the copious resources available online to hack the RAZR and access its system files and the V195 being only a couple of hundred lines of code away, it was well within the limits of driver compatibility. I easily found my way in, where I could remove carrier branding, edit seems, and upload my own mp3 ringtones. For now, I’m limited to the sluggishness and inconvenience of Bluetooth. That is, until I get home to my microSD card so I can finally take advantage of it and fill it with music and images and whatnot. It makes me salivate (but not in a creepy way). My only complaint is the 300kB limit on ringtone size. Why, Nokia programmers, why?

I should also mention that the new contract means I can text now, like a normal person! (But still not.) Unlike before when I was charged for every time someone texted me and thus causing some of my friends accumulate quite a debt to me. Hooray! Now I can communicate with people and eat meals with my friends instead of sitting alone at the “Table of Technologically Obsolete Friends” (formerly “Table of Lepers”).

Of course, I’m still behind the curve and still use punctuation in my texts. I still need to map the keypad in my mind. And I still only use it to communicate only the very important things instead of what it is supposed to be used for. Incidentally, I find myself now considering getting a Twitter account, because not only am I able to now update continuously, it will provide a home for all my more non sequitur thoughts which are frittered away and don’t fit into blog posts. All the scraps that are left by the wayside in the course of my day.

Then there’s that part of me that fears becoming a text zombie that I see so often on this campus. (I only narrowly escaped my Romero-esque adventure that almost led to me becoming an iPod zombie because none of the other zombies would bite me.) Then again, who can live comfortably forever holed up in a metaphorical mall?