The Finite

So I did it. Let me tell you the tale.

I started at 2:00PM on Thursday, leaving me 25 hours for 2751 words. I actually stuck to my thesis this time, though that may be or may not be a good thing. It was just an analysis of the themes of Gulliver’s Travels and Voltaire’s Candide. Advocating a middle road, blah blah, Christian perfectionism, ridicule of rationalism, yadda yadda yadda. I really don’t want to ever have to think about it again.

I worked straight through 14 hours and 1966 words before I ran out of will power to keep my eyes open. It turns out my earlier graph was pretty much correct, as I (intermittantly) recorded my progress.

Several brief hours later, at 7:02AM, I’m in my skivvies frantically shoving my laptop into my backpack while Schmitz impatiently idles in the driveway. At 7:21, I run franticly into school holding my secrets to success: a box of oatmeal breakfast bars and a caffeine delivery system (otherwise known as a bottle of Bawls) that Schmitz found frozen in his car.

My game plan was this: since there was no Chem Lab final and attendance was not required, I was going to take the Psych exam 8th period instead of 5th so that I could perform before my body realized it was tired. The caffeine and, if necessary, sugar boost of the oatmeal bars would keep me going enough to finish the 700 words required for an ‘A’ by 3:00PM.

Dumping all my stuff in the psych room, I asked Mrs. A if I could check in with Cassidy for 8th period (since I couldn’t get called out). She did what teachers rarely do: looked me straight in the eye and said, “run”. In seconds, I and my wet shoes were out of that classroom making squeaks with each step. (The shoes were, not me.) I did a really cool powerslide around a corner that I’m disappointed that no one saw. When I got to Cassidy, it turns out no words needed to be said. I only needed to make eye contact before he nodded.

When I got up to room 215, I prepared for the 100-question test by taking a deep swig of the Bawls. The thing was, since it was frozen in the car, the solutes precipitated out of the solid water component. Basically I slurped a layer of super-concentrated super-caffeinated syrup. DAMN! It’s like being punched in the amygdala. I blazed through the test in 60 minutes and secured my ‘A’ (only six wrong answers more and I would have gotten a ‘B’).

I then set up shop (laptop + books) in the Writing Well, where I put out another 300 words but began to feel the effects of the three hours of sleep catch up to me. After the bell rang and the day ended for everyone else, I moved to room 157 where I finished and had it proofread. I ran the final copy down to V’s office at 2:25 with 35 minutes to spare. I also found out I got an A- on the exam. This doesn’t help much since V couldn’t care less for mygradebook. So there are now two class grades not yet solidified. Cassidy still has to grade the Chem lab final and V has an essay that determines my grade. But, oh, the joys of freedom! The impulses… so much… so fast. It’s glorious! I think… I think I’ll shoot some Nazis. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

I’m sure there are some of you out there who share my sentiments regarding final exams. (“AHHHHH! AHHHH!” *stab stab stab, slow deep breaths* “AHHHH! AHHHH!”)

The story so far? AP Chem, Cisco Networking, CWLT, Physics. I pulled off the A in Cisco without much drama. Starting from a 93, I needed a 66 and got an 82.

Chem was a little more trying. In case you don’t know, Chem is split up into two classes, Lab and Lecture. Both are six-point ‘A’s. My Lab grade dropped to a maddening 87.87 just before winter break. (An ‘A’ is 88.) It now all depends on the very last lab we turned in, which has been hastily christened our lab exam. I had a B, 84, in Lecture little more than two weeks ago after being brought down by a 75 on a Thermochemistry exam. (An ‘A’ is an 85.) An 89 on the Equilibrium test pushed me back into ‘A’ range. (It helped even more when it mysteriously changed to a 91 earlier this week.) I needed a 79 on the exam to keep that ‘A’. I was a little worried the first half of the exam. I had only done 30 of 75 questions in 40 minutes. Sol’n? Skip to all non-calculation questions. It payed off: 86.8.

In Physics, a little miracle happened. And her name is Mary Kemp, hereafter known as Saint Kemp. While during winter break, I had an ‘A’ in Physics and a ‘B’ in Chem, I now had a ‘B’ in Physics and an ‘A’ in Chem. I was just a fraction short of the 85% A walking into the exam yesterday. I needed an 88.76 on the 20% exam to claw my way back to the ‘A’.

But no. 80.00. The conservative forces were out to get me. (By “conservative forces”, I mean things like applied force or tension, not the GOP or Culture Campaign.) This makes for a ultimate grade of 84.06. I was somewhat inconsolable during the CWLT exam after finding out. It was not until noon today when I saw what Kemp had done. By adjusting the percent that the exam counted in comparison to the semester grade (among other things), the ultimate grade was the just-barely ‘A’ that the good Saint had the mercy and benevolence to grace me with.

I still have no chance of being valedictorian but still, it’s nice to have a respectable class rank. Preferably something under 30 this semester.

The CWLT exam was like most other Venegoni^[1] tests. I usually do better than I expect on them. Usually, I only miss about 25-30 questions of the standard 80-question test. Today’s exam is 20% of our final grade, but I’m much more concerned about the essay due at 3PM on Friday that commands 15% of our final grade. I really should have gotten a lot done yesterday, but I got pulled into the Wikipedia Vortex for about nine hours. I know. I know. This procrastination helps no one but the Scholastic Bowl Team.

^ Note that this particular usage of the word “Venegoni” refers not to the actual person but is an adjective that refers to the emotional and logistical consequences of his class: namely, the paranoia and distress his class creates along with the few fleeting moments of free time in which to worry about it.