{"id":1251,"date":"2009-09-17T15:37:44","date_gmt":"2009-09-17T20:37:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=1251"},"modified":"2014-04-07T09:22:16","modified_gmt":"2014-04-07T14:22:16","slug":"return-of-the-harrison-grille","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=1251","title":{"rendered":"Return of the Harrison Grille"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I know now that I have passed a major threshold in my residency at the Gr1lle: I no longer ask questions; I merely demand keys. Since I know where everything is stocked now, I only need to defeat the security lasers and autocannons that safeguard the ice cream bunker.<\/p>\n<p>Of all the bright-eyed young freshmen that trained at the Grille last summer, only Alex and I remain. All the rest have moved on to the next phase of their lives. (Unemployment probably.) <\/p>\n<p>So far this year, I&#8217;ve been working register a disproportional amount. I don&#8217;t know why it gets a bad rap. It&#8217;s out in the fresh air. There&#8217;s no getting squirted in the face with ice cream. And there&#8217;s no risk of emo burns. (So called because the angle that some people reach into the impinger causes the edge of the oven to touch their wrists.)<\/p>\n<p>Things aren&#8217;t terribly boring like others say. Sometimes people have palindromic balances. For example, someone&#8217;s account had $197.91 left. I always make sure to point this out to them to liven up their night.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, there&#8217;s the dealing with freshmen. But I&#8217;m a TA after all. I&#8217;ve had training. When describing the menu to freshmen, I divide it up into fresh, fried, cheesy\/toasted and sweet. <\/p>\n<table width=\"100%\" border='1'>\n<tr>\n<td>Fresh<\/td>\n<td>Fried<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Chicken Bacon Ranch Wrap<br \/>Chicken Caeser Wrap<br \/>Garden Veggie Wrap<br \/>Side Salad<br \/> Chicken Snack Wraps<\/td>\n<td>Shoestring Fries<br \/>Crinkle-cut fries<br \/>Mini Corndogs<br \/>Shrimp Po&#8217; Boy<br \/>Popcorn Chicken<br \/>Spicy Chicken Sandwich<br \/>Inferno Chicken Sandwich<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<table width=\"100%\" border='1'>\n<tr>\n<td>Cheesy\/toasted<\/td>\n<td>Sweet<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Jake&#8217;s BBQ Toasted Sub<br \/>Buffalo Chicken Toasted Sub<br \/>Stromboli Toasted Sub<br \/>Cavalier Club<br \/>Tuscan Chicken Flatbread<br \/>Buffalo Chicken Flatbread<br \/>Pizza Zammich&#8482;<br \/>Tank&#8217;s Club Zammich&#8482;<br \/>Garlic Cheese Toast<br \/>Bosco Sticks<br \/>Nachos<br \/>Overloaded Nachos<br \/>Chili-cheese Fries<\/td>\n<td>Shakes<br \/>Ice cream scoops<br \/>Cake slices<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<p>Of course, the one item that doesn&#8217;t belong is the baked potato, but who orders those anyway?<\/p>\n<p>Fryers was easy to pick up again. It&#8217;s like riding a 375&deg; bicycle. Only now there&#8217;s no more crowding around the central Subs touchscreen like the monkeys from <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/2001:_A_Space_Odyssey_(film)\">2001<\/a>. Now, there&#8217;s a second black monolith that the person on fryers has to themselves.<\/p>\n<p>We of course have a new flagship song. The one from last year, that played over and over on the kitchen radio so much that I have become classically conditioned to start whistling it whenever I smell Canola oil was Katy Perry&#8217;s &#8220;Hot N Cold&#8221;. The song to be playing incessantly over the radio this year looks to be Lady Gaga&#8217;s &#8220;Poker Face&#8221;. <\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve also almost fully developed a preparation technique. I use <a href=\"http:\/\/starwars.wikia.com\/wiki\/Form_IV:_Ataru\">Ataru<\/a> with elements of <a href=\"http:\/\/starwars.wikia.com\/wiki\/Form_II:_Makashi\">Makashi<\/a> technique. I was of course influenced by Master Luke&#8217;s <a href=\"http:\/\/starwars.wikia.com\/wiki\/Form_III:_Soresu\">Soresu<\/a>, and ended up mixing that with <a href=\"http:\/\/starwars.wikia.com\/wiki\/Form_V:_Shien_\/_Djem_So\">Djem So<\/a>, which is where I started my training.<\/p>\n<p>The Makashi influence is from Hope and Audrey although Hope deviates noticeably close to <a href=\"http:\/\/starwars.wikia.com\/wiki\/Form_VII:_Juyo_\/_Vaapad\">Juyo\/Vaapad<\/a>. I fear she treads dangerously close to the Dark Side.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I know now that I have passed a major threshold in my residency at the Gr1lle: I no longer ask questions; I merely demand keys. Since I know where everything is stocked now, I only need to defeat the security lasers and autocannons that safeguard the ice cream bunker. Of all the bright-eyed young freshmen [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,28],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1251"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1251"}],"version-history":[{"count":32,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3599,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1251\/revisions\/3599"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}