At dinner one night, Brooke noticed the “cutest little thing” over by the dessert bar. Garnish kiwis decoratively cut into miniature fruit baskets. <\/p>\n
Thus began an hours-long debate on the definition of cute. <\/p>\n
We came to several conclusions:<\/p>\n
Anything used by, worn by or having anything to do with a child is immediately cute.<\/p>\n
Covering anything in kittens must invariably increase its net cuteness. This is known as the Chaisson effect.<\/p>\n
fun-size candy = not cute
\nmini candy= cute<\/p>\n
This one surprised me, chicken nuggets are -though they’re potentially small versions of bigger pieces of chicken- not cute. <\/p>\n
It was decided that tiny lethal missiles, because of their excessive propensity for harm, are not cute. <\/p>\n
This one I saw coming. All mammal babies, miniature versions of functional things, like smart cars and dollhouses.<\/p>\n
All<\/em> mammal babies. That includes vicious puppies and lion cubs, even if they’re eating you, are cute. Apparently they aren’t “excessively” harmful.<\/p>\n Another interesting effect: Babies in leather jackets are cute, but babies in fur coats are not. I disagree. I think they’d look like the world’s smallest pimps. <\/p>\n Another thing I have to mention is when beings that aren’t human act like they’re people. See any Pixar film for proof.<\/p>\n The moral of the story is: if you want to make something cuter, either make it small or cover it in kittens.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" At dinner one night, Brooke noticed the “cutest little thing” over by the dessert bar. Garnish kiwis decoratively cut into miniature fruit baskets. Thus began an hours-long debate on the definition of cute. We came to several conclusions: Anything used by, worn by or having anything to do with a child is immediately cute. Covering […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1364"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1364"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1364\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3615,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1364\/revisions\/3615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1364"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1364"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1364"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}