{"id":1617,"date":"2009-09-20T22:42:39","date_gmt":"2009-09-21T03:42:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=1617"},"modified":"2014-04-07T09:22:15","modified_gmt":"2014-04-07T14:22:15","slug":"xp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=1617","title":{"rendered":"Level up"},"content":{"rendered":"

Remember when I said that my supervisors thought I was crazy to keep working here? Turns out I misunderstood. They didn’t mean that it’d be crazy to<\/em> want to keep working here. I’ll become crazy if<\/em> I keep working here. <\/p>\n

I probably should have picked up on that earlier. Whether it be from DJ’s frequent singing in falsetto or the Joker laugh occasionally emanating from the dairy cooler. Oh, well.<\/p>\n

I showed up at work Friday and got into a uniform: tan polo and black apron like all the other level 1 employees at the Gr1lle. As I walked into the kitchen, Liz passed me, sporting a gray polo in her uniform, symbolizing her newly bestowed elevated rank. She stopped, stared at me and said, “Go talk to Sam.” I think, “Okay, boss lady.”<\/p>\n

Sam’s the student manager at the Gr1lle. She’s really high up in the University Dining Services hierarchy while still being a student. I got to her office and after two minutes of conversation and shared confusion, she remembers that she forgot to tell me got promoted to “grey shirt”. In reality, I blathered for about forty-five seconds in flattered surprise, but I prefer to remember the moment like this.<\/p>\n

crowning achievement unlocked<\/p>\n

Thus a new age dawns.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

In addition, leveling up unlocks new branches on my skill tree in addition to upgrading several old attributes. But there’s still some abilities I can’t do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\"crossed<\/td>\n\n

Shakes<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Scooping rate is increased 17%.<\/h4>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"\"<\/td>\n\n

Fryers<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

NEW ABILITY<\/strong> Fryer oil can be filtered once nightly. Speed increases with experience.<\/h4>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"access<\/td>\n\n

Security clearance<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Access granted to top secret areas. Immune to security gnomes.<\/h4>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"CAFFEINE\"<\/td>\n\n

Health<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Stamina increases 13%. Double shifts no longer cause drowsiness.<\/h4>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"Shake<\/td>\n\n

Expediting<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

“For here” orders are basketed 15% faster. “To go” orders are wrapped 12% faster.<\/h4>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

\"lock\"<\/td>\n\n

Locked!<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Communication Log<\/h4>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Remember when I said that my supervisors thought I was crazy to keep working here? Turns out I misunderstood. They didn’t mean that it’d be crazy to want to keep working here. I’ll become crazy if I keep working here. I probably should have picked up on that earlier. Whether it be from DJ’s frequent […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,5,28],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1617"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3598,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617\/revisions\/3598"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1617"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1617"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}