{"id":2428,"date":"2011-09-26T20:42:46","date_gmt":"2011-09-27T01:42:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=2428"},"modified":"2014-04-07T09:21:27","modified_gmt":"2014-04-07T14:21:27","slug":"creeper-voice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=2428","title":{"rendered":"Creeper voice"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I hate when my throat is scratchy and raspy, yet I don&#8217;t sound like Master Chief or Megatron or Marcus Fenix. It seems like such a waste of T-cells. For the last week, my voice has hovered at the edge of the &#8220;cartoon supervillain&#8221; octave that would worsen whenever I got dehydrated. By the end of the day, unless I shotgun a sports drink, I end up sounding like Dr. Claw. It&#8217;s even more apparent when I randomly threaten Inspector Gadget, but oh, boy, he&#8217;ll get what&#8217;s coming to him. I&#8217;ll get him one of these days.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve also been constrained from giving compliments to people. I tried to say, &#8220;I like your SpongeBob backpack.&#8221; only for it to come out as the <em>most terrifying<\/em> thing to say to a short girl on a dark campus in the dead of night. I probably should have waited for her to see me first.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I hate when my throat is scratchy and raspy, yet I don&#8217;t sound like Master Chief or Megatron or Marcus Fenix. It seems like such a waste of T-cells. For the last week, my voice has hovered at the edge of the &#8220;cartoon supervillain&#8221; octave that would worsen whenever I got dehydrated. By the end [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2428"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2428"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3530,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2428\/revisions\/3530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}