{"id":353,"date":"2007-11-23T11:51:05","date_gmt":"2007-11-23T16:51:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=353"},"modified":"2014-04-07T09:24:14","modified_gmt":"2014-04-07T14:24:14","slug":"sigh-no-pie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=353","title":{"rendered":"*sigh* No pie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh wow. What a magical Thanksgiving. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Turkey<\/td>\nempty check box<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Sweet potatoes<\/td>\nempty check box<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Cranberry sauce      <\/td>\nempty check box<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Noodles<\/td>\nfilled check box<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Killing spree<\/td>\nfilled check box<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n

The tradition is to play Halo 2 with my cousin from noon til nine, upstairs, in a “Quarantine Zone” away from all the screaming children and discussions of downloaded movies or bargains at Kohl’s. That’s Asians for you. <\/p>\n

That would also explain why we had ph\u00e1\u00bb\u0178<\/a> for lunch. And turkey? No way. Were there any turkeys in Asia? Turkey is the White Man’s Bird (which the white man actually stole from the Native Americans). Chicken, ironically Cornish hen, was the bird of choice. <\/p>\n

Other than the piracy and noodles, the day was spent trying to act like white people. There was salad, mashed potatoes, cheesecake, and mixed vegetables. I don’t know why, considering how none of my relatives like “white peoples’ food” that much. I understand their aversion, considering how they don’t know how to use the applicable seasonings. <\/p>\n

Asian seasoning? Soy sauce, peanut sauce, n\u00c6\u00b0\u00e1\u00bb\u203ac m\u00e1\u00ba\u00afm<\/a>.<\/p>\n

American seasoning? Salt…<\/p>\n

Beyond that, my family is stumped. So everything was eaten sans seasoning using knives and forks. (Except Grandma. She’s got mad skillz and eats her mashed potatoes with chopsticks.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oh wow. What a magical Thanksgiving. Turkey Sweet potatoes Cranberry sauce       Noodles Killing spree The tradition is to play Halo 2 with my cousin from noon til nine, upstairs, in a “Quarantine Zone” away from all the screaming children and discussions of downloaded movies or bargains at Kohl’s. That’s Asians for you. That would also […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=353"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3738,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/353\/revisions\/3738"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=353"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=353"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=353"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}