{"id":996,"date":"2008-11-10T21:11:08","date_gmt":"2008-11-11T01:11:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=996"},"modified":"2014-04-07T09:22:54","modified_gmt":"2014-04-07T14:22:54","slug":"its-too-asian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/?p=996","title":{"rendered":"It’s Too Asian!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m really bad with names. I helped a guy carry his stuff home from Target. I see him all the time, and he says ‘Hi, Tommy’ to me. I don’t remember his name but I do know that he’s a Chinese American and that he wants a white roommate. Then there’s this other Korean guy that I’ve never<\/em> met before who also knows my name. It’s gotten to the point where it is more awkward to ask their name, especially after a long period of complacency since Awkwardness vs time relative to meeting is generally exponential.<\/p>\n

the accompanying graph<\/p>\n

I find myself not generally hanging out with Asians because, well, the Asians here, are really<\/em> Asian. Like “born-in-China-smoking-Korean-cigarettes-Lenovo-running-Mandarin-Windows” Asian. And I just don’t fit in with them. I’m hanging out with white people so much, though, that they forget I’m not white. My “Kill Whitey!” statements confuse them apparently.<\/p>\n

Last week, we had an “Indian(a) Summer”. Basically a period of unseasonable warmth due to warm air from the southwest. Ladybugs sneaked into the building and try to have sex with our light fixtures. I think they follow the smell of popcorn through our ventilation system. It was becoming a big problem on the lower floors especially. It’s colder now. Everyone just busted out their winter coats, but as soon as it hit 60° last Wednesday, all the meatheads on my floor took their shirts off. I felt like I was the only one with modesty\/pants.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m really bad with names. I helped a guy carry his stuff home from Target. I see him all the time, and he says ‘Hi, Tommy’ to me. I don’t remember his name but I do know that he’s a Chinese American and that he wants a white roommate. Then there’s this other Korean guy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/996"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=996"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/996\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3649,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/996\/revisions\/3649"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tommy.lardbucket.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}