No more living at Harrison for me. For next year, I applied at Cary Quad, way up on the north end of campus. What luck that most of my fellow droogs also applied there when they were turned away from their primary housing choice, Hillenbrand, the Hamptons of Uni residences. They got suites while I got a “closet” which is long, narrow and pretty much the smallest rooms on campus . If the beds are pushed against opposite walls (which is pretty much the only way to arrange them), I could reach over and punch my roommate in the face if I had the inclination. At least, that’s what I gathered from when we visited one of the RA’s rooms.
But from what I saw, Cary Quad should have some perks. The ceilings are slightly higher and smoother, meaning that when I stretch out my arms in the morning, I’m not as likely to pull back horribly bloodied knuckles. (I mean sometimes, yeah, I will. You can’t just leave an intramural fight club, but high ceilings are definitely a plus.) Yeah, there’s the ghettofied aspects of it to be dealt with, but that’s why Dupont makes industrial-grade doilies. Doilies and sandpaper.
Also there’s a 5 ft-high novelty Red Bull trash can that serves as the regulation wastebasket, from what I am led to believe.
The elevators are best summed up as those dual doored ones from Scrubs, which will be great for my quirky internal monologues. (Existence of an elevator barbershop quartet is unknown.) The current residents are a change from Harrison, judging from the dialogue I overheard.
Guy #1: Well, technically he’s losing potential energy.
Guy #2: Obviously, but the elevator’s moving so he also has more kinetic energy now…
Guy #3: Oh, shut up, you two. Why don’t you go do Matlab and masturbate?
Engineers.
I keep the same meal plan however, the old 10-meal for various reasons.
The bare minimum 10-meal plan cost $4119 for the meals swipes only. For a 32 week year, that’s $13.26 per meal. If I instead order a $5 ($5.30 with tax) footlong from Subway in place of each of those 300 meals, I save $2547 (which is enough to also buy 25 George Foreman grills and/or buttload of meat).
For obvious reasons, this accelerates my plan to get an apartment. Even the cheapest room on campus is 6500 a year. But apartments open up a free market selection system. Somewhere out there is a crappy cheap apartment that politcial prisoners would reject that would house me comfortably.
Dude, you could be eating mid-grade steak at that price.
tommy: “can i look at one of your closets?”
guy at counter: “uhhh…. what?”