The Hot Coffee Mod

Oooookay, so. Not doing so hot grade-wise. This Monday I got my ass whupped by biochemistry, that bastard child of the natural sciences. It’s probably the whole 8:30 aspect that’s killing me. Similarly, my grade is falling in my 9:30 intro to statistics class. As always, the solution is drugs.

The building next to mine has one of those generic coffee machines. If we were to peer inside, we would see powder canisters and hot water hoses. It spits out a 8oz or 12oz cup of reconstituted tongue-scalding beverage in less than a minute for 65 or 75 cents respectively.

I get a cup there before my commute with some pocket change. I drop a couple of ice cubes in from a conveniently placed machine, and I trudge off to class, albeit slowly at first since the cup is nearly overflowing initially, and more so with ice cubes. Luckily, the adrenaline rush that comes from carrying extremely hot coffee a half-mile supplements the caffeine rush. Nootropic effects become apparent by the time I get there accompanied by a epinephrine-stimulated glycogenolytic alertness as well as a granola bar I eat every morning.

Alternatively, I can use a meal swipe to acquire an “On-the-Go” meal and get coffee that way. I also get more granola bars and a sandwich.

The problem this morning with the rain was that I couldn’t carry my coffee and an umbrella and a sandwich. These circumstances were the result of a really poor decision motivated by hunger, distant ATMs and a busted change machine.

The solution, as always, is duct tape.

duct tape to th rescue

I got to eat my Italian Club and sip a little joe while I walked to class marginally dry. That is, until a small gust caused me to spill warm coffee on my face and shirt. It’s fortunate and oddly self-fulfilling that I wore my black “I’m blogging this.” shirt today.

One Response to “The Hot Coffee Mod”

  1. Chris says:

    i took ap statistics in high school, if you need some help i can give it a shot

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