I hate my children.

I do. And by children I mean, of course, my dear classes. They are annoying expensive little brats that I guess I brought on myself for not knowing better. I have six separate lectures plus a lab and a class to TA. Compare to last year, when I had only 5 lectures and one class to TA. It used to be that none of the lectures would assign homework and I could study whenever I want. Now it’s homework and prelabs every week. I already missed some of the online assessments and I’m tanking the written homeworks.

I’ve finally been revealed for what I really am. A B+ student with a precocious schedule, only not so precocious anymore. I’m outclassed on drug and pharmacy procedure knowledge. In no part due to our standard assortment of professor archetypes: the smart Grandpa, the coffee sales representative, the boring monotone doctorate and the comedian.

The comedian teaches us essentially a sociology course from the perspective of pharmacy. Think the mannerisms of Manthey (our high school freshman English teacher), the voice of McD (our junior year English teacher) and the body of Zach Galifinakis from The Hangover all at 7:30 in the morning two days a week. Outwardly self-deprecating and cynical, he brings a breath of casual air to the requisite “professional” triteness of Pharmacy classes. (Yeah, I still hate wearing ties. They just feel so fake. Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s because I’m wearing a velcroed pre-tied pseudo-tie.)

Like so many fondly remembered high school teachers, he tells us stories. And like Manthey, he will be reluctant to admit he is a bleeding-heart, multicultural progressive. He tells us constantly about the impact of culture on views of medical care. There’s apparently an island of predominantly albino natives who actually have enough albinos to shun anyone with melanin from their nocturnal society. (“A society dominated by white people? Intriguing.”)

We laugh at his pain a lot. He grew up poor and was burned by his childhood dwelling’s heating element and his wedding ring is at the bottom of a lake. (But if he gets lucky, two hobbits will find it.)

He’s also mastered comedic timing. Which is good and bad. On the one hand, his 7:30 lectures are never boring and his is my favorite class. On the other, he leaves no room nor setup in his monolog for smart-ass quips.

Maybe I can release a RiffTrax of this lecture…

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