A New Hobby

As requested, here is a summary of the CLPH 469 anemia lecture to the tune of “It’s the End of the World As We Know it (And I feel Fine)” by REM. I strongly recommend singing it out loud, preferably with friends, preferably in public.

Afraid that I’ve had low iron intake, no veggies but a period
In other words, I bleed a lot. Macrocytic, folate, vitamin B. cyanocobalamin, intrinsic factor gonna need, in gut for absorptivity, Take with metformin, no, gerd meds, no. Parasthesia with moody irritable type. Folate gut intake, could be bad because of oldness or some bowel disease or growing state. Pregnant, inflammatory, phenytoin,or anti-meta-bo-lites. Better be supplements, 1 mig a day. Look, there’s also SC, every week. Uh-oh, diagnosed, all the things it can be. chronic disease. Elemental iron needs: Dextran testing please, anaphylaxis possibly? Will absorption be better with IV over oral? Might. You better check their oral absorptivity, is it alright? Right.
[chorus]
Need more cells in my vascular fluid,
I’m sort of cold and I look slightly bluish
Headache is worse and I’ve been really weakish
And I feel faint…

Microcytic, iron needing, stomatitis dirt-eating, Swollen tongue, is it red? Also check the nail bed. Look into the ferritin, transferrin, TIBC, Babies need 3 migs per kig, double that for older kids. Gonna need some docusate, runs or it constipates. Funny colored, dark brown. Gotta take with no food. Uh oh, this means no tea, no milk. Coffee, better steer clear. Calcium and GERD meds, tetracycline, I don’t advise. Offering some OJ, also with ascorbate, for absorption’s pretty wise.
[Chorus]
Alternative to giving meds, transfusing in them cells of red. 8 or less hemoglobe, watch for iron overload, alloimmunization, blood contamination, C-H-F’s necessitation. 300 mils a unit, raises H-B by one. You absolutely verified, certified, triple-checked blood type? Right? Right.
[Chorus]

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