The Finite

You would think that after such a joyous event, I would stop fibbing to my mom.

Nope.

During the reception, my mom saw all the various Asian girls at Purdue, she would ask me why I didn’t date any of them. Rather then tell her the real reasons I was prepared to give one of the below, fictitious excuses which I knew would mollify her.

• She’s married with a kid, mom.
• She has a higher GPA than me.
• She prefers the new Star Wars Trilogy.
• She only goes for half-Asian guys.
• She is 1 centimeter taller than me.
• She is actually 38 but looks 24 because, well, being Asian.
• She told me she can’t cook rice without burning it.
• She wants to have a stay-at-home husband.
• That’s Professor Chen.
• She has a mole. No, like a pet mole. Yeah, really.
• She outdrinks me.
• She’s… crazy. Just straight-up crazy.
• Korean mafia ties. No, thank you. I do not want to be made into kim chee

Should I have told her the real reason? Racism, lack of social grace, lack of interest?

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 18th, 2014 at 9:16 pm and is filed under Day-to-Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.