The Finite

People I don’t even know say hi to me. It’s just like back home. There’s even a Joonyoung Park and a Peter Kim.

I’ve met people from China and India and Ohio. My new friends like to play Ultimate Frisbie a lot. (So that’s why Custable taught it to us.) However, the lack of proper facilities meant we had to appropriate the lawn next to McCutcheon Hall. Unfortunately, due to unexplained landscaping, I fell into a hole.
Backpedaling for the frisbie, I turned as I landed one foot in the hole twisted and apparently passed through the tree. I broke my fall with my hands and ribcage on the surprisingly sharp retaining wall bricks, and now I have bruises and “emo wrists”.

Or in emo poetry form:

falling
on the surprisingly sharp retaining wall
I have bruises and emo wrists
switchblade

While I was walking through the Engineering mall some guy came up beside me and tried to spark up a conversation as he handed me a flyer for the Rowing team. As I walked home, I thought, “Was he blind?” I lack the physical strength for the rowing team. The only things I have going for me are my low weight and my aerodynamic haircut. (I do know that I can carry a 160-lbs. Chris Brown up Chauncey Hill. It’s like having a extra heavy backpack who talks and keeps breathing on your neck.)

Then I realized: that is all I have to offer. He wanted me to be the guy yelling “stroke” at everybody. I decided I’d go. Though if they have any sense at all, they would pick the anorexic guitar player from the second floor.

I got a care package from home. It contained some coaxial cable, a USB hub and some chemistry goggles.

If you remember the Plan B, I actually used it on Thursday because as everyone knows, Thursdays suck. I have to go a half mile from Lilly to the Heine building in 10 minutes. 2640 feet in 600 seconds is an average of 4.4 feet per second. That’s why I whipped out Plan B. Unfortunately, a half-mile over hot asphalt carrying 160 lbs of books and student caused the generic wheels to fail.

You see, this is “Roadstar” brand scooter. Instead of the solid plastic wheels of the Razor brand, these wheels have a rigid polymer shell and a filling made of what can only be described as “hot glue gun ammo”. The outer plastic “tire” buckled from the rim and the filling, liquefied from the commute’s 350+ (Kelvin) temperatures, seeped out and collapsed the tread. It just goes to show you that if you want to purchase high-performance kick scooters, make sure the wheels are non-cast, unlayered, transparent, injection-molded polyurethane.^[1]

By the way, I never did get to the Rowing team call out meeting. I ended up getting distracted and singing a “Piano Man” duet with Chris Brown at Karaoke Night in the Harrison Grille.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 1st, 2008 at 7:16 pm and is filed under Day-to-Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.