“Resp-irony-atory” illness

Right now, the metal clang of disassembled bedloft frames constantly echoes down the hallway like crappy New Age rock. Boxes litter the hallways, the dumpster has accumulated a sizable mountain of futons. You could build a small island out of all the stuff college students throw away.

I haven’t blogged about my classes in a while, mostly because the news is boring and sad. I’m doing okay in Ochem and anatomy this time. But Microbiology, damn. The final could become rather interesting.

Lacking a textbook, I am forced to study the lecture slides, which I don’t find as efficient. In an outline format, the material isn’t retained as a concept map as from a text passage. Rather, just a set of static slides, increasing the magnitude of the task.

In fact, just to show how much harder micro is than chem or anatomy: for the second exam, I shifted my hours around and studied extra hard for micro at the expense of chem and anatomy. I got a B in the micro test but a C in both of the other tests. I planned on straight B’s for the third wave of semester exams.

But then irony decided to drive a bulldozer through my face.

The weekend before the test, I was cramming the lectures about upper respiratory tract infections, when I got an upper respiratory tract infection.

It started out with those late night nosebleeds. That may have been the route of entry. From the nasal conchae, it spread to the sinuses, then to the oropharynx, then briefly affected the stomach. In any case, it got the whole full immune system treatment. Fever, lethargy, malaise, rhinorrhea, mild nausea. All of it climaxing shortly after my third microbiology exam. The four hours of sleep the night before were probably the camel-breaking straw, that had me swaying to the beat of unconsciousness shortly after walking into the exam room. I went back to my room and slept for 16 hours.

It would be another week before I was out of the woods. I ended up getting a C on my micro test, a B- on the anatomy one, and shockingly, an A on the third chem exam. I was happy until I did the math and realized how little it helped me.

For microbiology, the grade calculation is disappointingly simple. No dropped anything, just 3 midterms, a final, weekly quizzes and a lab. I’m hovering at a C+ in that class thanks to being cut down on the third exam and despite Seth Rogan TA. Just 2% below the B cutoff, it all comes down to the final.

Anatomy? Slightly better than last semester. Again, the “final” is the fourth and fifth exam back to back, with the lowest exam dropped. If I pull off another miracle, great. I’ll need to average 86.25% on both exams if I truly want that A.

I think that unless I abstain from studying, the numbers indicate a pretty secure B in Ochem. However, I am within the reach of an A if I get a 140 on the 150 point final. With only 69 hours to study.

Test 1 Test 2 Test 3
Anatomy A C B
Microbiology C B C
Ochem B C A

I have a 2.4g stockpile of caffeine and nothing left to lose. Before I got up this morning, the things I reached for were

1. glasses
2. bottle of Vault spiked with extra caffeine (1 of 3)

So begins the journey into the howling dark. Only after Friday at 9 PM can I finally retire to my artificial island of futon mattresses and beanbag chairs floating in Lake Michigan.

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4 Responses to ““Resp-irony-atory” illness”

  1. Tommy says:

    Allow me to rescind my statements. It is not a good idea to dumpster dive furniture from a college campus. Why not?

    Two words: Venereal disease

  2. lurker says:

    Uhm, why don’t you have a textbook?

  3. JY says:

    Don’t forget that caffeine overdose kicks in at an excess of 300 mgs. I’m pretty sure vault has somewhere around 60mg and caffeine pills around 200 mgs. So you might want to watch out.

  4. Tommy says:

    Please, JY, I’m in prepharmacy, I know this stuff. and Vault is actually 47mg of caffeine for every 8oz portion.

    The stockpile was just a result of what options were available to me at the time. I don’t have any pills; no one will sell me any. but the problem with pills is that they’re designed to be taken all at once while a liquid I can parcel out over the course of a night. I can either dissolve the pills, or insufflate them slowly.

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