Thursday and Friday marked a syzygy of Math Team (Thurs) and Science Olympiad (Fri) meets.
Math Team Meet at Vernon Hills
I was again lumped into the lowerclassmen on the bus. There was one moment, The South Park Sing-along, I’ll remember because it drove Schmitz insane. (He hates the stuff. I saw him trying to chew through his arm when we reached the chorus for “Blame Canada”.)
The competition was uneventful. The freshman took a lot of flak from the upperclassmen. They came in last on the individuals and on the Candy Bar Contest, they were pretty much only good for borrowing pencils from.
Science Olympiad Meet at Glenbard South
I stayed in the science wing the two hours after school ended until 2:45 when the rest of the team met up and marched down to the bus. (Something I like to call the “White ‘n Nerdy Parade”.)
Even though I didn’t know anything, I volunteered for Forensics with Frisbie just for the hell of it. We half-assed our way through the test and had some time at the end so we played around with the chemicals they gave us. (They were 2M NaOH and 2M HCl and what I think was sodium acetate.) We must have gone through $20 worth of chemicals just dissolving random crap.
When I came back, I found Nelson Gaske inexplicably harboring a large bulge in his pants. He told me it was a chicken egg that they were using for one of the earlier events. He leaves for the vending machines and when he comes back, the bulge in suspiciously absent and he immediately starts taking folded-up papers, change and ID cards out of his pocket . . . all covered in sticky, viscous yellow ooze. So mush for the egg. Then, he found the need to start rubbing his turned-out pocket all over my hands and arms. If he’s reading this: Nelson, dude, I don’t appreciate you rubbing your pocket goo all over me. Now, I’m all sticky and god knows what I smell like. On the other hand, I did score some of the slightly fragrant and yolk-y quarters you discarded, so thanks.
Unfortunately, I dropped the ball and forgot the reference materials for the Rocks and Minerals event. That means I lacked a minerals list, all of the flow charts, and rock photographs. I remembered my pencil though. (I just forgot the lead for it.) In one of my more “HOLY CRAP!” moments, I got second place. I couldn’t believe it. I beat a girl that wore a full-sized cape to the test. That’s right, I beat Cape Girl. I was in shock the rest of the night.
On the way back, we found how to hook Aaron’s iPod into the van’s speaker system and the Karaoke Phunk Bus was born! In an exclusive release, I have audio of Andy Schmitz singing. It’s creepy as hell people. Especially for those of you who have never seen him so much as smile. He’s singing along to Tom Lehrer’s Poisoning Pigeons in the Park. By the way, his singing sucks. Mine is way better.
Oh, and Matt Walthers smells like Bengay. I couldn’t figure out where to work that into the post.
Tommy: Walthers, everyone knows that deep inside you -well, not very deep- is an 8-year-old kid.
Andy: So you’ve probed Walthers enough to ascertain how deep…
Tommy: I have never probed Walthers!
Nelson: Are you Chinese?
Tommy: Do I look Chinese, jackass?!