You probably know by now (assuming you’re in the Midwest and not in, like, Oregon or something) how the air outside is colder than a nihilist penguin. The local county even issued a warning about prolonged exposure to the severe 237K wind chill.
“… will result in frostbite and lead to hypothermia or death if precautions are not taken.”
Almost every window in Harrison now has killer “Day-After-Tomorrow” frost. From the outside it looks like an apartment owned by Mr. Freeze. It wouldn’t be so bad except for that everyone has classes at some point. And me, my classes not agreeing with the bus routes, I’m forced to walk to a majority of them.
Not that bad, I thought. At least I’m not bony. And I have a decent wind-proof coat with a substantially-thick polyester-lined hoodie beneath that along with ski gloves and headphones (to keep my ears warm). I can’t wear scarves because I’m Asian. There’s some backstory required here. One of the Korean international students here has earned himself a nickname for his behavior. Back in August, Trendy Fashionable Asian wore a scarf along with his cargo shorts and t-shirt. So now scarves are off limits for the likes of me because TFA ruined them for all Asians. So I have to just zip up my jacket all the way to protect my neck.
So I was pretty okay after a couple of blocks or walking. Of course this was at 10:00 so the temperatures weren’t brutal. I passed what appeared to be a poorly equipped group of former friends that apparently went “Donner party” on each other earlier that morning. I had to say I could relate. I definitely had a couple of “To Build a Fire” moments when I just wanted to curl up on the sidewalk to escape the wind.
So my coat being zipped up all the way, my breath was being diverted upward, which I didn’t really mind since it kept my eyes from freezing open. But it also fogged up my glasses temporarily as always. But today it being so ass-shatteringly cold, the fog on my glasses started to freeze and form, rendered in frost, beautiful shapes and elegant designs and truly terrifying opacity.
I somehow made it to Matthews for the lecture with some time to kill and without being flattened by a pickup. I unpacked my breakfast granola bar from my backpack pocket and chipped my teeth on it. The oats’n’honey goodness was frozen solid. I tried to warm it by grasping it tightly in my hand but that only served to cut my fingers. I would have sucked on it for a while had class not been starting. I threw it in the trash where it tore through the plastic bag and made the can reverberate like a gong, probably confounding the Chinese kid who had just entered the room.
I made it back okay. A big sardine can overloaded with 70-100 fellow endotherms helped. I don’t know what that pig farmer was doing on campus though…