The Finite

There’s something I probably should be telling you. Those of you at Purdue may already know but here goes:

I have been wearing my phone on my belt for three months now.

Let me start by saying is is not just so people can see how my phone is too important for pockets, it’s also because I can’t have an iPhone and a real phone jammed into one pocket without either of them damaging each other.

But primarily, it’s so I can retrieve my phone when I’m sitting down. I don’t have the luxury of a purse; I kept my phone in my pocket most of the time. When I have to check my schedule or read a text while sitting, I can either stand up to retrieve the phone or I can so that awkward “air hump” where I thrust futilely in an attempt to straighten out my leg enough to allow pocket access. The belt case allows me to not appear to be attempting copulation with my desk when one of you tweets.

This past Noel was whiter than any I can remember. There wasn’t any snow on the ground unfortunately, but in a gradual and hysterical progression, my relatives are getting whiter. This year, they exchanged gifts of North Face outerwear, tennis rackets and iPads. When I arrived, Rihanna was playing on the iHome and close to midnight, everyone gathered in the living room to watch The Blind Side.

Now, for me this break was a chance to do a couple of things. The first week was spent working a couple hours a day at work cleaning up the place. The rest of the break, I focused on getting really fat. I lost a lot of weight from binging on cramming. Cue Pierogies…

The second week was spent upgrading Ubuntu distros. The third week was spent downgrading Ubuntu distros and fending off sharks. Now I’ll never upgrade again.