The Finite

I’m not a vegetarian. But I do especially enjoy the Veggie Wrap at the Grille. It consists of ranch mayo, lettuce, mushrooms, green peppers, onions, tomatoes, and cheddar in a tortilla. To me, the design says: “Thank you for not cutting into our profit margin by ordering a meat dish. We’ve done our best to try to simulate the meat-consumption experience for you. Enjoy.” Stick with me here.

The mushrooms are not intensely flavorful, but they do offer a subtle umami base and soft, moist, but tender mouthfeel that simulates meat. And of course, I can’t neglect to mention the contribution of the green peppers. They are the crucial element that completes the “meatness”. They replace the crunchy resistance offered by the bones of whatever “animal” it is you’re deluding yourself into eating. It’s genius.

There are some menu changes at the Gr1lle, but thankfully, the Veggie Wrap is not affected.

We say goodbye to the shrimp Po’ Boy. It sold but not quite as much as it could’ve. Also, for months now, we’ve been unable to get our hands on the special Remoulé sauce to go with it. Apparently one of the ingredients is a rare mustard, fermented by the remnant monks of an ancient order in a monastary deep in the Prussian Alps, that keeps getting confiscated by US customs.

The Big Dee’s Parmesan Chicken and Bacon Flatbread is a mouthful… of AWESOME! I don’t know who Big Dee is though. Kind of like how I have no idea who the originator of Tank’s Club [Sandwich] is. They sound like rappers. The “ParmChik” is a surprisingly close-to-the-mark stab at the cliched Italian dish considering it is made with ingredients we have had all along and I actually don’t disagree with the bacon. It won me over quickly.

This semester also marks the return of pizza to the Grille, although in a curtailed fashion. Gone is the “pick-your-own-toppings” selection, we have been cut back to sausage, pepperoni and cheese, and the only regret I have is that it excludes the popular ham and pineapple “Hawaiian” pizza conformation. There’s also the Ham and Cheese Toasted Sandwich, which I haven’t tried yet. It sounds pretty standard, but I don’t know anything about the tastes of the populace at large, if my underestimation of the Grilled Cheese Sandwich and tomato soup can attest.

Apparently that particular item has been flying out the ovens. It’s probably dirt cheap to make too. We just put a slice of cheese and some buttered white bread through the conveyor oven. Two ladles of tomato soup from “The Black Cauldron” and we have our only combo meal.

Then again, I don’t claim to know much about restauranteering at all. If my one menu suggestion was heeded, we’d be serving Kimchee by now.