The Finite

Am I unique in that I moved out of my room with more crap than when I moved in?

It was from garbage picking obviously. I accumulated three desk lamps over the course of the year. One was acquired when a guy down the hall from me who ran out into the hall clutching the lamp and yelling, “Who wants this?”

Then there was wicker end table I picked up sitting on a trash can on the first floor. And the long clear plastic crate from Alex, and the canvas bags and hangers from the sixth floor trash. I drew the line at stealing the bicycles on the racks downstairs.

Actually the chance to steal bicycles has been around all semester. Peoples’ bikes would give out in April and they would take their lock off and leave the bike to the scavengers.

Had I had my tools, I would have been able to take several of those rejects and assemble a couple of operable bicycles. When my family learned of this, I didn’t hear the end of it.

“Why didn’t you take some bicycles home?” they demanded. When I offered the fact that many of the bicycles still had locks on them, my uncle offered his bolt cutters.

Apparently, they all really want cheap bikes. Garbage-picking grandma was very displeased. I ruined Mother’s Day for her.

We have a cat now, my sister’s. Timid and of the basement variety. What’s most surprising is that my mom hasn’t shot it with a harpoon gun yet. Back in ‘Nam, street cats were the enemy and all measures were taken to prevent them stealing food or spreading disease. Luckily, my sister has already conditioned the cat to hide upon hearing the sound of a harpoon gun being loaded.

Grades came today. Another ABBA. I can relax now. I think I’ll wax and oil my scooter.