The Finite

Oh, yes, I’m busy, but I’m still blogging. I’ll keep posting, even if I have to hunt down Dan Pfeiffer and feast upon his internal organs for mana.

Harrison Hall is just like a big hotel. The shower controls are some sort of recursive cipher, the front desk can do just about anything for you, and there’s a grand piano in the lounge. Except that the ice machine works and the hallway smells like sweat and Axe and Xbox. (Incidentally, the girls’ wing smells like soap and daisies and unicorns.)

I’m beginning to live in constant fear that I’m picking up my roommate’s accent. Not that I have anything against accents, I just don’t want him to think I’m mocking him. He’s from a small town in southern Indiana. The accent is subtle and only noticeable on the ends of words. Though most other people don’t have any.

Stuff has different names here. Like “Cornhole” is basically Baggos. Frolf is “Disc Golf”. Pop is still pop, though. (Except to the guy from New Jersey.)

Boiler Gold Rush is the orientation program for freshman. Step one is for them to strap a colored bracelet onto you (They sneaked up on me while I was signing something.) that decides where and when you eat and what activities you do. (Like prison, except that they keep us out late.) It’s surprisingly tough plastic that’s not supposed to come off, even in the shower.

I’m in a group with about 15 other people. Most are from small towns. One from Mexico, one from Warsaw and the others from places with Native American sounding names that I can’t remember but that are also small towns in Indiana. And everyone but me knows how to play “Euchre” which I think is a card game Yahoo! invented. I’ve been taken under their wing as a trainee and say things like, “Are there ones?” and “I have a four of, uh, clovers?” I’ve already mastered some kind of rat screw game involving cell phones and Tootsie Rolls.

Every night there’s buses that go from campus to the local superstores to drum up business and gouge all ignorant and naive college students freshmen. I’m there for free stuff. But the bus stop near my dorm was mobbed with hundreds of cheapos. Getting on was insane. There was more civility at D-Day, more order on the decks of the Titanic, more college students than I’ve ever seen attending an actual class. I’ve done Target, Meijer runs and the Best Buy run is on Thursday. I’ve got three bags of free stuff and 95 cents worth of thumbtacks and it only took me 97 cumulative minutes of waiting and I didn’t get back to my room until 1 AM on either night, but I got a free water bottle and some of that new portable Axe. You know, the one from the commercials where it dissolves some girl’s clothes? All that I can imagine that doing is dramatically increase the rates of sexual assault in this country, but I’m sure I’ll find some use for it.

Speaking of getting stuff free, there was also a business fair in the Armory. (Yes, we have an armory building apparently. I know, I know, red states.) Basically a bunch of businesses and clubs and churches advertising. Most had free stuff.
A

wearing

gave me

Free pizza from several different restaurants. Free Jimmy John’s, DQ, and Starbuck’s samples. Ironically, Circle K gave out live goldfish, while the Nature conservation committee gave out plastic magnets.

I think my week can be summarized fairly succinctly.

Tommy: Morning. Does something smell like vomit to you?
Alex: (shrugs) College.

Yeah…

New bed, new toothbrush, new opportunities.

Also, new radio stations, TV channels and newscasters. (What’s real anymore!!!?!!!!)

After a very mellow and relaxed Friday evening, I fired up my desktop (last time for a while) and got my wanted level up to 4 stars before I was shot by a police helicopter (hopefully the last time for a while). Then I slept until 5 AM.

We somehow jammed all my crap into the trunk and half of the back seat. And I drove (again) for three hours, this time with a steadily building shrill tone in my ear that was my aunt complaining about how I almost killed us.

My room is about 15×11. There’s a desk with drawers and lights and cabinets. I also splurged on a bed loft to make room for a TV and my roommate’s Haier minifridge which trumps the Coleman cooler I brought along.

My roommate got a loft as well and also provided the table and a padded chair and ottoman, which we set across from my lawn chair.

The campus is still the same as it was on orientation day. There’s buildings and trees and sidewalks and the occasional trustee’s bust on a pedestal. Nothing to write home about.

Since I’m working at the Harrison Grille, I was subject to supplementary “employee orientation” for meet my coworkers. EASET stands for something with employment and training and team building but there’s free food involved and they see a need to march us into the bleachers to give us popsicles, so long live Lord EASET.

There were teambuilding activities and sports. The phrase, “epic soccer game” comes to mind, then just as quickly disappears because of the two hours of mediocre soccer I played. I was only around for the raffle anyway, in which I ended up with a booklight and a pocket calc.

I ordered the Resnet dorm internet access which I use through a RJ-45 wall jack. But the network in the lobby and all university buildings only gives instructions for wireless access through Windows, not Ubuntu. And I lack the expertise to do anything about it. I can’t use Tomboy, I can’t scroll with the touchpad, and I have no package manager. File system check! But the speeds are so fast. (~650KBps)

And could someone remind me to do laundry in two weeks? And then could someone tell me how to do laundry in two weeks?