The Finite

I forgot to mention my intent for this trip. In addition to the airplane itinerary, I had a non-travel itinerary.

This is all stuff that I don’t do enough of. Well, that and sleep, but who has time for that? In retrospect I like to think I was moderately successfully with most of these although some of them are kind of iffy.

But what better place than here to be young and dumb and drunk? As a wise friend of mine put it, “Better to be filled with alcohol, than with diarrhea.” I mean, it’s not like you can go to restaurants and safely drink their water. You’ll have to get beer or in my case, lime juice with Corona in it. And in addition to the restaurants, there’s also beaches with Segway-riding waiters, night clubs with a surprising amoont of Canadians, and tequila shops just freaking everywhere. And drinks just taste better when they’re delivered by Segway.

I also made great progress on my “tour of cocktails” checklist at the poolside bar. I knocked out Mojitos, Bloody Marys, Tequila Sunrises, and Pina Coladas. By the way, Bloody Marys are apparently very spicy. No patron saint would have that kind of blood without some severe phlebitis, it burns so much. But at least I have a healthy prostate (Thank you, Lycopene!) and a newfound respect for Worcestershire sauce. (In the same manner one respects .50 caliber bullets.)

We didn’t just stay out on the resort the whole time, there was nightlife involved too. While out pretending to be a young person, I discovered some things:

I didn’t learn that last one out on the town but it’s good to know, I think. I couldn’t post any of these at the time because of roaming charges and all so I took notes on a pocket notepad. Which came in very handy in a deafeningly loud bar on the beachfront. Carried on a entirely written conversation with a polyglot Malaysian girl. Let this be a lesson: bring pens and scratch paper to loud bars to meet cool people.

If it’s not readily apparent, I didn’t have internet on this trip so the fragments of blog posts and tweet drafts saved on my phone will find new life here in the the form of the post-trip posts. Would be tweets will be indicated as such.

It’s not like this place didn’t have Wi-fi. It had everything. But we just didn’t want to pay the $95 fee for a week’s internet. But seriously, this place had everything under the sun you wish a resort had. (And it was still being expanded. We could actually see deforestation from our room.) There was a lazy river, beachfront, in-pool bar, all of which I used.

Also, stemmed glasses. They came with the room and class up anything you put in them. Water, juice, milk, whatever. You could put moonshine in a wineglass; it’ll immediately stop being moonshine and become whatever the French name for moonshine is.

I also ate a good, but small-portioned meal off of an oblong rectangular plate. Because round plates are for poor people.